Vitamin D prevents death from COVID 19, but – you’ll never hear that. Despite studies saying that sunlight kills the virus since February, local city leaders incarcerated its citizens, and we started dying. Could it be that hiding in our homes caused us to become even more vitamin D difficient than usual, therefore making the most at risk more vulnerable? Possibly. But it lacks that scientific flair and it’s more convenient to spread fear than to trust what a mother would do.

The fear, at the time, was hospitals overflowing with ICU patients – but when they discovered the rooms were practically empty, they still kept the quarantine. Why? Because the absolute obedience across the country was like crack for these local officials. Every power-hungry governor became a fucking Napoleon.

Thanks to all these cowering idiots still playing the my-stomach-hurts-so-can-I-stay-home-from-school card, the New York City mayor (Big Bird), wants to enforce a $50 fine to anyone not wearing a mask on the subway.

Since half the city is unemployed, that sounds like a fantastic idea – make ’em pay a penalty with their unemployment check. Besides, NYC is down to only about six shootings a day, so, we can’t let these maskless marauders get away with spreading droplets. They’re not even getting shampooed, for Chrissakes!

Being sheep is not the new normal. Wearing a mask is not a sign of respect, it’s a sign of slavery. You want science? Read your horoscope. You don’t need to quarantine, you don’t need to sanitize every surface that you touch, or drench yourself in sanitizer – have a shot of Tito’s while sitting in the sun, instead.

The virus is real, the danger is not. Get back to life already.