The Headset Mic


I said, “Madonna.” The group of second graders said nothing. He said, “Britney Spears” and they laughed and nodded. Word association when it came to the headset mic. He’s their teacher so I guess he was more in tuned to current icons. Sorry, Madonna – here’s the radar and there’s you, way the f*ck over there. Whatever. I’m just happy that Hannah Montana is at zombie status.


But I should update my celebrity catalog. I find myself saying things like, “You know the actor who played the douche bag in that movie with the fat guy from Super Bad?” I can’t remember actors names. But it’s really not my fault – celebrities have such unmemorable names these days. So do bands. Not like “Triangle Sweat.” That’s the name of my new band. Thanks Kim.


Along with time, money and putting on their clothes correctly, my boys still have no concept of age. Then again, their father acts his shoe size, why shouldn’t they? Well – Samu is still wearing pre-school sizes, so he’s good.


Zuki asked me my age the other day, and when I answered he said, “You’re older than Grammy?”


“No Zuki, you count the tens – sixty is more than forty.”




You see why I think he might be going to summer school this year?


And then this morning, while walking Samu to school, we saw his classmate/Cub Scout buddy across the street. The kid was with a teenage-ish girl who I wasn’t sure was his aunt or cousin. So I asked Samu, because he can be nosy like that.


“I think that’s his grandmother.” He said.


Seriously. The girl was wearing faded capris and a teeny t-shirt, she looked like a broomstick with a ponytail.


“Samu – that is NOT his grandmother.”


“Well, she’s not his mother so, she must be his grandmother.”


……let’s hope he stays away from genetic engineering.

“I’m wearing a tie, so now I’m OLD!”

Author: Namzola_Goodness

A Japanese-American who grew up in the streets of New York during the racially volatile 70's, Nami blogs with guts, heart and humor. Dysfunctional parenting, cynical citizenship of beer to wash it all down.

12 thoughts on “The Headset Mic”

  1. When I taught preschool the kids asked me if my husband was my dad. I think it was his beard. Either way, made me feel awesome !

  2. O yeah, that tie adds about six months to his his life.

    Our son loves dividing his age into quarters. He’s absolutely crazy about it. He’s not seven, he’s sevens and two quarters.

    We’ve tried telling him that’s equal to seven and a half but he thinks we’re trying to pull the wool over his eyes.
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