That’s What I Want


I really miss payday. I don’t miss having a day job or all the other “joys” that come with it – just payday. And not the entire day either, just the part of picking up the check and then punching out for lunch. Since my status changed to full time “mom” six years ago, I hadn’t had a “payday” until this year. Two freelance gigs that each paid about a week’s pay at my last job, which was executive doormat.


With the money, I bought my iPhone and a pair of winter boots – the rest I stashed for a rainy day. Okay, so that the rainy day came within 72 hours of getting paid and came in the form of play dates, goody bag goods and gummy vitamins and so it got me thinking – maybe it’s time I earn a steady paycheck, again.


All full time homemakers go through this struggle, I imagine. Money is always an issue, but aside from the money, there’s the social aspect for the homemaker, too. It took me a couple of years to get used to dressing like I was going camping 24/7, so when I suited up for the last gig, I was tempted to falsetto “I’m back in the saddle, again!”


For two mornings in a row, I washed my hair, wore pressed pants and – makeup. No, it didn’t rain – as the saying goes when you do something out of the ordinary. But there was this little hurricane that passed through…


Regardless, the job that I did in October was – exhilarating. Meeting new people always is and the fact that they knew nothing about parenting made it even more challenging. They were a group of young, hip twenty-year old kids from Japan, on a tour of New York. They were adorable – giggly, innocent and impeccably fashionable. Their enthusiasm for life was energizing.  In their company, everything held promise – life was positive. Remember that feeling? Yeah, me neither.


Well, it’s been a long time for a lot of things. Like laughing for the sake of laughing. One young lady in the group attempted to say something in English and it came out, “Aaaah – aaaah – ahhh.” The person who she was trying to talk to, replied, “Aaah, aah, ahh,” and a laughfest erupted. Everybody was giggling. The last time I giggled that much, I had the munchies ten minutes later.


I did laugh when my friend handed me an envelope of cash for my part of the tour. It was more like an evil scientist cackle but that was because I was giddy with the prospect of spending it all on me. A haircut, new threads perhaps and shoes – free of guilt.


Well, one out of three ain’t bad.


At this point in my life, I’ve realized that money, like time, chocolate and sleep cannot be stashed for personal use at a later time. I’ve given birth to children – and they take everything – like the government.

36 Japanese students waiting for an elevator at Bergdorf



Author: Namzola_Goodness

A Japanese-American who grew up in the streets of New York during the racially volatile 70's, Nami blogs with guts, heart and humor. Dysfunctional parenting, cynical citizenship of beer to wash it all down.

14 thoughts on “That’s What I Want”

  1. I’m not sure if I’d miss my paycheck or not….seems like it’s already spoken for by the time we get it lol!! What I would miss if I quit working would be my health benefits! Dustin’s work has them but it’s expensive and horrible. Since I work for the state ours are pretty good. I have thought about getting a part-time job (still w/ the county schools) next year though. They still give you benefits if you work part time….how could I pass that up?
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  2. I understand. You like having adults to converse with. You did not know you would be sacrificing that pleasure when you had children. And spending money on yourself is a thing of the past. But you have 2 adorable good reasons for who you are right now. BTW – spend some money on yourself or you will go stir crazy. 🙂
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  3. I was just speaking to another mummy blogger this morning about how long it’s taken us to get used to the idea that “this” is our job now. Thank God, Hubby’s pay cheque goes into our joint account otherwise I would really complain about the benefits of this mothering gig 🙂
    Seriously, I do miss having a pay check. But I don’t miss the stress and crazy hours that went along with it…
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