Password To Brotherly Love

Look Zuki, it's easy - all ya gotta do is...this!
Look Zuki, it’s easy – all ya gotta do is…this!



I didn’t expect it to happen so soon, but it did: Samu helped Zuki with his homework. I was surprised that Zuki readily accepted help from his little brother – I was sure a battle of egos would ensue. Zuki is two grades above him after all, but Samu is better at independent studying. He’s more focused – to the point that he’d rather piss his pants than stop to go to the bathroom. The little piss bag.


As I listened to the two boys tackling Zuki’s third grade writing assignment, I was a little jealous. Instead of the usual, “Okay! I’m doing it – I HEARD you – okaaaaaay, already,” that Zuki always gives me, he paid attention to his little brother’s corrections without putting up a fight. For the next fifteen minutes, I heard a very pleasant, mature conversation like this:


“That’s a capital letter, Zuki.”


“Oh yeah.”


“No, Zuki, it’s spelled w-a-i-t. Okay, lemme see. Hmm, this sentence doesn’t make sense…”


“It’s supposed to not make sense, it’s third grade!”


They were more than just getting along – their sibling relationship was evolving. The only thing that could ruin the moment would be me – attempting to take a picture with my iPhone. So I stayed out – and then it was sealed. The pact between siblings in which moms are not allowed in. As a matter of fact, I know from experience that keeping mom “out” is what makes the bond unbreakable. I guess it’s my turn now.


My sister and I were close and I hoped for the same camaraderie for my boys. Mimicking my mother’s speech to me and my sister, I’d constantly tell my boys that they only have each other. They are brothers – no matter what the other one does, no matter how much of a pain-in-the-ass the other one is or how asinine his actions are – they must always work it out. Maybe it started to sink in and even blossomed into the beautiful moment that unfolded over homework.


Well, there was this other time when my hands were immersed in hamburger meat and I saw the two of them together, quietly trying to figure out my iPhone password. It was 90 percent Samu’s idea so Zuki didn’t have much to lose.


Even if they maintain their closeness doing stupid things for the rest of their lives like the Kardashians, I’ll retire a happy mom. I’ve seen, worked with and experienced sibling rifts and in the end, the cause always seemed trivial compared to the time wasted in not talking to each other. It’s always a shame. All I can say is, it better not happen on my watch – because I’ll slap those two upside their heads.


I doubt it’ll ever come to that because after school, Zuki told me that he got “Writer Of The Month” today. It was the essay that Samu helped him to write. While I congratulated him with huge hugs because I knew how much he wanted to win, in the back of my mind, I toasted his brother, too. As a matter of fact, all the famous brothers; Wright, Grimm, Karamazov, Coen, The Kinks and of course, all of Philadelphia.

Author: Namzola_Goodness

A Japanese-American who grew up in the streets of New York during the racially volatile 70's, Nami blogs with guts, heart and humor. Dysfunctional parenting, cynical citizenship of beer to wash it all down.

16 thoughts on “Password To Brotherly Love”

  1. Loved this post. My sister and I aren’t even remotely close…never have been, never will be, and I’m completely at peace with that, seeing as how she’s a total bitch…but I want so much more for my own kids. Moments like the one between Zuki and Samu…that’s what I want for them. And I have the feeling that Miles is gonna be the one to (finally…please, God) teach Lily how to ride a bike and swim. 🙂

  2. That photo is adorable!

    I grew up with younger brothers and a sister. We always fought…over everything, including homework. As the oldest child I sort of took on the responsibility of ensuring my younger sibilngs finished their homework.

  3. Are you kidding Nami? You actually made me cry!!! My sister and I, even when we hated each other and even when we ‘fight’ now, are each other’s biggest fans. She is my favorite person in the world. I couldn’t live without her. I don’t always agree with her, we parent different, our views on a lot of things vary but the sun rises and sets on her. Noah has two half-brothers, 19 and 20. Brian, the eldest, was with us from 2 to 9 years old. He calls Noah all the time and tells him he loves him he wants to see him call him if he needs to talk, etc. His brothers have always remained in Deon’s life. Brian is very much a loser with no job, no license no anything but that’s his mother and father’s fault and everyone else (and there are a lot) involved in the ‘raising’ of him but I love him dearly for loving his little brother so much, adoption or no adoption, and for always reaching out. Beautiful post Nami. Wow.
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    1. Ha! Finally got you back for your post on Noah’s adoption. You’re beautiful people, you and Hot Joe for giving Noah ALL of his family. Believe me, that takes a huge heart and a lot of confidence.

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