Temporary Solitude: Sleepaway Camp

for stay-at-home moms, having the entire house to yourself overnight is equivalent to going to work and nobody’s there. The potential debauchery is


Flat, gray clouds bubbled with the threat of thundershowers. For a while, rain seemed determined to cancel my evening. So I cursed and prayed simultaneously, which worked apparently because the evening turned out beautiful. I apologized for my rude prayer then shamelessly left my husband to fend for himself with our despicable minions. It was mommy’s night out with a good friend at an outdoor feast of grilled meats and micro brews – and the cup was bottomless.


You’d think a night like that would be a warm up for what’s in store right after my husband departed with the same bad company for Scout camp. That was the plan amongst us Den mothers, after all. See the men and boys off then party like there’s no waiting party at home.


“Oh yeah! We’re gonna drink Margaritas and dip our feet into the kiddie pool all-night-long, honey.”


It was all talk. As soon as they left, I headed for Home Depot to get a light switch cover. What I brought home was some potted plants, gardening soil, a hose and nozzle and alas – no light switch cover. I went to Deals next and came back with a bin for the closet, organizers for the drawers, area rugs for the kitchen and again – no light switch cover.


It didn’t matter. That light switch would’ve just sparked another project because from the moment they left, which was 10:40 in the morning, until a quarter after nine that night, I had been cleaning the stupid house.


What. The. F*ck?


It was because my mother checked in on me earlier – during the spontaneous gardening project and put things in perspective. She¬†warned me of the pitfall of temporary solitude. Then commended my sorry attempt at gardening – it’s good to keep busy. Even if it’s a haphazard project that looks like crap.


The pitfall is idle time to reflect. While reflection is a necessary exercise from time to time, you want to make sure you have that soundboard (a.k.a. your spouse) to tell you when you’re starting to sound like a Dennis Leary rant. Without that soundboard, you might wake up to find you lodged an axe into the bathroom door just so you can renovate it!


You see, for stay-at-home moms, having the entire house to yourself overnight is equivalent to going to work and nobody’s there. The potential debauchery is strictly up to ones imagination. Freedom is ominous. On the one hand, I can think of a million things to do – on the other, it makes me realize that I might not be able to handle retirement.


All this work in ensuring the kids grow up healthy and wise and at the same time, secretly wishing they don’t grow up at all.


That’s about all the reflection I can take. My advice to moms with kids at sleepaway camp: take this time to throw out their shit. To be thorough about it, make sure you do it sober.


Yeah, yeah – easier said than done. My cave-man is responsible for filling up the beer drawer (yes, we have a refrigerator drawer dedicated to that one beverage and God forbid I load a juice box in there!) incidentally, he left it empty. And – Home Depot doesn’t sell beer. So, I’m going to be shopping there for the duration. Maybe even come home with a light switch cover.