Weird Science Project


There’s another inevitable factor to add to death and taxes and that is – science projects. This is the first year Zuki was actually required to do one for a score. And Samu’s school had their first Science Fair after a 15 year hiatus! How does a school get away with not having a Science Fair for over ten years, right? It’s probably the same way they get away with NOT having a gym teacher – seriously…what’s up with that.


Now that both Science Fairs are over, I’ve accumulated a couple of tri-fold boards, a nasty tub of water growing an ugly avocado pit root and three jars of Borax and water gelatin. The Borax solution was to grow crystals but somehow, I learned more about Borax than I cared to know – like what it’s for.


If anything, I also discovered that my boys love doing science projects. I always hated them because those homemade volcanoes gross me out. Sure enough, we walked into Samu’s Science Fair and my husband said, “It smells like a salad in here.” Apparently, no one paid attention to the science teacher when she stated that models of exploding volcanoes are not science projects. She should’ve been more specific, like the guitar stores that hang a sign over the guitars warning, “Do NOT play Stairway to Heaven.”


Though the other day, I was at Guitar Center (trying out a Gibson SG that I can’t have) and there was no such warning posted. Maybe it’s too old. Of course that also means that I’m too old. Way too old to be tooling around Guitar Center with midgets and an empty wallet.


If only I got paid for all the volunteer work I do. But then it wouldn’t be volunteer work, would it? So the other week I played Powerball without the slightest delusion I’d ever win. I considered it practice for Zuki. You know, practice filling in the bubbles like the multiple choice in the State test coming up next month. He actually got one of the numbers, which is one more than Samu’s numbers. And I always thought Samu was the lucky charm.


There’s no science when it comes to chance but hey – you never know.

Million $ Multiple Choice

Third Grade’s A Charm


Despite the fact that I had a HUGE fight with Zuki this morning, I’m writing this post to praise the progress he’s made in the third grade. If I don’t, he’s going to drive me insane with his scatter-brain. I’ve considered getting the boy a pair of blinders but he’s usually distracted by something else going on in front of him – like his little brother reading, me sorting out old receipts plastered to the bottom of my bag, even crumbs on the table – they all bellow for attention, don’t they?


Obviously, he gets it from me. I’m supposed to be filing our taxes. I tried to log in three times and f*cked up the password, so here I am blogging, until the twenty-minute lockout is over.


But back to this guy:


My FACE is a science experiment!



His first graded “Science Project.” Originally, he wanted to make a miniature version of Da Vinci’s giant crossbow. The science teacher said no – it’s a weapon. I should’ve figured. Although his “testable question” was more along the lines of engineering, they couldn’t get past the politics.

Seriously, how deadly is a crossbow made by an eight-year old gonna be? Not to mention, the kids weren’t allowed to bring in the actual project itself – they had to present it on a tri-fold board with pictures of it. What the hell? With two weeks of planning wasted – he went with something easy: torturing avocado pits. The variable was adding salt and sugar to the water and the result was kind of gross. Naturally, that pleased Zuki to no end.

And look, he got an 86. I swear, I did nothing but complain about how gross his “salted” avocado pit was – he really did it on his own.

May his report card look like this one day



On a final note (now that he’s forgiven for wasting the entire morning fooling around naked), I promised I would post his “Writer Of The Month” publishing. I happened to see it because his teachers met with me privately regarding his “promotion in doubt”. Yes, again – but it wasn’t as grim as I thought. Maybe I’m just used to it now. It occurred to me that I might see these notices every year – or maybe – Third Grade’s a charm. Just in case, I’m going to see what Amazon has for blinders.