The year that nullified holidays, birthdays, franchises, and hypocrites. What’s with the screaming banshees? 2020 has been a pretty good year – it all depends on how you look at it.

Public schools were the first to close, and despite the fact that very few children actually died from the Coronavirus alone, they still haven’t reopened. The initial giddiness of a snow-day-like-closure became a depressive dread of torturous Zoom meetings. And what was once the concern for the safety and health of our children is now a political standoff with children’s education as the casualty. After all this time off, there is no going back. These teachers are going to find that out the hard way when and if they decide to show up for their paycheck like the taxpayers do. Enough with their Doom meetings. At this point, I don’t care if they ever go back to work again, we got our own thing going.

Like sleeping until 6:44 am. Having time to eat a healthy breakfast and leave a healthy lunch in the fridge for the homeschooling teens. They haven’t learned a damn thing since March, so in turn, my teens have taken to reading the news. The real news, not the media. Remote lessons, if anything, exposed the content for what it is: malleable disinformation.

For a while, there were restless nights and the feeling of uncertainty. Then it occurred to me to view 2020 as 20/20 (perfect vision) and suddenly it was hey, good things have happened this year. All this negativity, hatred, and lies made us focus on the miracles we’ve been overlooking. To Hell with the squeaky wheels. If they fall off the wagon, so what? We’re not getting anywhere with them anyway.

Good. Thing. 2020

So, are we going back to school or not?

Originally September 10 became September 21 and now it’s….October first. These teachers are never. going. back. to work. It may be our tax dollars still paying these remote baby-sitters, but they’re the ones being played…really. That’s kind of why I don’t care anymore.

I dropped out of high school because teachers didn’t give a shit about teaching back then – and they sure as hell don’t give a shit now – that’s public education 101. Remember when they spouted out all that bull about striving to go to college?  Now you simply pass a test because a less-than-Swine-flu kept you home.

I don’t know about you, but the next time I have to get surgery, I’m going to ask the anesthegiolist and the surgeon if they graduated med school in 2020.

My advice: invest in a small distillery.

 

 

Vitamin D prevents death from COVID 19, but – you’ll never hear that. Despite studies saying that sunlight kills the virus since February, local city leaders incarcerated its citizens, and we started dying. Could it be that hiding in our homes caused us to become even more vitamin D difficient than usual, therefore making the most at risk more vulnerable? Possibly. But it lacks that scientific flair and it’s more convenient to spread fear than to trust what a mother would do.

The fear, at the time, was hospitals overflowing with ICU patients – but when they discovered the rooms were practically empty, they still kept the quarantine. Why? Because the absolute obedience across the country was like crack for these local officials. Every power-hungry governor became a fucking Napoleon.

Thanks to all these cowering idiots still playing the my-stomach-hurts-so-can-I-stay-home-from-school card, the New York City mayor (Big Bird), wants to enforce a $50 fine to anyone not wearing a mask on the subway.

Since half the city is unemployed, that sounds like a fantastic idea – make ’em pay a penalty with their unemployment check. Besides, NYC is down to only about six shootings a day, so, we can’t let these maskless marauders get away with spreading droplets. They’re not even getting shampooed, for Chrissakes!

Being sheep is not the new normal. Wearing a mask is not a sign of respect, it’s a sign of slavery. You want science? Read your horoscope. You don’t need to quarantine, you don’t need to sanitize every surface that you touch, or drench yourself in sanitizer – have a shot of Tito’s while sitting in the sun, instead.

The virus is real, the danger is not. Get back to life already.

Remember September 11?

Oh yeah, I remember.

Hey, remember metal detectors?

Yeah. Yeah! I remember those – at airports. An’ government buildings.

And high schools!

Yeah – now, we got temperature check thermometers.

And tracking lists. To ride an elevator to an empty office or have lunch inside a restaurant.

Remember restaurants? And movie theaters? They had air conditioning. Now we have to do it outside – while it’s hot. And watch out for Antifa terrorists.

They ain’t terrorists – terrorists are terrorists.

Like Russians.

Ooh diplomats. Disney and, and, and, the Taliban – hey, remember ISIS?

No – wait. The. Walking. Dead….

Yeah, I remember. They’re not as scary as crack dealers, remember them? Or mobsters – they’re the worst.

Yeah, the ones by the airport, especially. They was big, loud, and greasy.

But they wore suits, and showered. Not like now, with the hairy arm-pits and stinkin’ like shit on fire and I can’t tell if they be chicks or dicks!

Remember when you could tell the difference?

Yeah, remember when people cared?

Remember when war was war but you knew what you were fighting for?

….yeah, I remember that.

As of September 30th, New Yorkers can dine in.

All you have to do is submit the color of your bowel movements for the next twelve-hundred hours.

The mayor and the governor (a.k.a. Dumb and Dumber) won’t ask whether dinner was followed by sexy-time, after all, it could never be as deviant as their preferences. Nipple piercing aside.

It’s amazing how the Tweedles managed to totally destroy New York. Businesses are closing. Good people are moving out. Children are disintegrating mentally and spiritually. Criminals are in control of the quality of life and it’s beginning to really, really suck.

Still, all the dictator and the bozo care about is the virus. Maybe because more people have died from it than people who actually like these assholes.

The sad thing is, I have friends who think Big Bird and Pepperoni Nipples are doing a good job. Even think one of them should run for office! Maybe if my friends lived sandwiched between two homeless shelters like me, they’d change their tune. But as it is, the city that never sleeps is overdosing on Benzos and turning into a wasteland that even Snake Plissken would reconsider entering – no, to see the light, it’ll take more than that.

A collapsed Broadway? Stupid children? Vampiric Quarantiners? Coin Vending Machines?!

The virus is real, the danger is not. Take off your masks, get back to work, and read a good book for a change.

See – this is funny:

Exercising freedom of speech without hurting anyone. Unlike the BLM terrorists currently destroying Rochester, crashing outdoor diners, and taking away what little business restaurants were granted by king cuomo.

It’s okay, Grammarly, I didn’t capitalize it on purpose.